Title: It’s Way Past Time for One Last Try

Fandom: Scrubs
Pairing: J.D Dorian / Dan Dorian (strictly platonic unless you chose to see otherwise), mentions of J.D./Dr. Cox and Dan/Elliot, some mentions of J.D./Elliot
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG-PG13
Warning[s]: Some slash concerning J.D./Dr. Cox, some spoilers concerning Dan/Elliot but nothing huge, nothing major.

A/N: Title belongs to Vertical Horizon from the song Goodbye Again. I've had these done for a while, but I did them for 

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01. Motion:

He’s rocking his brother back and forth, humming softly to himself, and hoping that the gentle motion will lull the little boy back to sleep.

02. Cool:

“You’re anything but cool,” a thirteen year old Dan shouts as he stalks away, not seeing the crushed look on his younger brother’s face, “so stop trying to hang out with me!”

03. Young:

Their dad brings home a book of fairytales when Dan is ten and Johnny loves it so much he makes Dan read him a story every night before bed.

04. Last:

As Dan pulls away from Sacred Heart he takes one more look in his rearview mirror because it will probably be the last time he’ll see his brother.

05. Wrong:

It had been wrong of him to say the things that he said as they stood in the hospital lobby, but he doesn’t regret saying them.

06. Gentle:

They had been sitting on the sofa when he had fallen asleep with his thumb stuck in his mouth and his head resting on Dan’s shoulder and Dan had reached up to lightly smooth the boy’s hair back.

07. One:

Johnny was one, and Dan was six, and more than a little jealous that the younger boy got his parent’s constant attention.

08. Thousand: (16.5 minutes is about one thousand seconds)

It’s been about sixteen minutes since he hung up the phone, and fifteen minutes since he learned that he got a job at a respectable office supply company, and he grins to himself as he picks up the phone again and dials the number, “Hey, little brother,”

09. King:

When Dan is at the bar he feels like a king because he’s well liked and pretty fantastic at mixing drinks (if he does say so himself) and he knows it’s different than what makes Johnny feel like a king (saving people, making a difference) but he’s happy with it.

10. Learn:

“I hope you learned your lesson and that you’ll listen the next time I tell you not to do something,” he says as he places a bandage on the proffered knee, and the little boy nods solemnly before giving him a quick hug and racing off to play some more.

11. Blur:

He drinks until shapes and colors seem to blur together and he knows that he’ll have the biggest hangover in the morning, but it’s his brother’s graduation and isn’t that a time for celebration?

12. Wait:

“I’ll see you around, J.D.” Dan states before walking out the door without looking back, and J.D. knows that he is going to have to wait quite a while before Dan’s next visit.

13. Change:

He isn’t good with change, never has been, and the day that Johnny moves out to work at Sacred Heart he stands in the doorway to his empty room and tries really hard to convince himself that this change was a good one, at least for Johnny, but as he turns his back on the bare walls he feels a sinking in his stomach that tells him otherwise.

14. Command:

There’s an emergency, a crash of some kind, and J.D. handles it with such a calm collectiveness as he orders people about that Dan is surprised, and he can’t help but feel a twinge of pride as he watches.

15. Hold:

He’s holding his sides and shaking with laughter and J.D. grins widely at him as he says, “I swear to God that’s what happened, and I was completely naked,” and Dan realizes that it’s been far too long since he’s laughed like this.

16. Need:

After staring at the broken window for a while they both come to the mutual conclusion that their parents don’t really need to know that it had been them.

17. Vision:

She was such a vision of beauty with her blonde hair and brilliant smile that he wasn’t surprised that Johnny was in love with her (though the poor kid probably didn’t know it just yet) but he decided not to let that stop him from at least trying.

18. Attention:

Johnny’s dating a girl who wears to much makeup and her skirts to short (she’s all wrong for him) and when he tries to explain why they shouldn’t be together his brother just gets angry and shouts, “You’re just jealous that I’m the one getting the attention this time!”

19. Soul:

Becoming a doctor was the perfect career choice for Johnny because he has such a big heart, and he genuinely cares about other people, but Dan wishes that it hadn’t taken him so far away.

20. Picture:

He keeps a picture of a younger version of himself and his brother in his wallet to remind himself that they really were close once.

21. Fool:

They’re drinking beers while watching a crappy movie on T.V. as J.D. marvels at how easy it is to play the fool and pretend everything is fine.

22. Mad:

He knows that J.D. only has his best interests at heart, but that doesn’t make the truth hurt any less when it’s spoken, and he counters that hurt with an icy anger.

23. Child:

He’s running around the backyard, barefooted with his cape flying out behind him, chasing a green monster when their mother calls them for dinner, and they stop their game with grumbles of irritation at being interrupted.

24. Now:

When Dan thinks back over the years he realizes that he should have been the one angry with his brother for not trying to see things from his point of view even once, but it’s to late for that now.

25. Shadow:

When he was younger he had a little shadow that followed him everywhere he went and back then it had irritated him to his very core, but he got used to it, and now he catches himself glancing back expecting to find his brother right at his heels and it’s always a small twist in his gut when there is nothing there.

26. Goodbye:

“I guess this is goodbye,” J.D. shuts the trunk of the car that is taking him away and looks at the older Dorian, but Dan just nods and looks at his shoes, “take care of yourself, Dan,” he says softly as he climbs into the car and it pulls out of the driveway.

27. Hide:

They played hide and seek when they were little, and Dan would find the best places to tuck himself away and hope that he would never be found so he could stay there, hidden away, forever; Johnny always found him and dragged him back to reality in the end.

28. Fortune:

They walk away, bickering, with their arms around one another and Dan reflects on how lucky his little brother is to have found someone who makes him happy… even if it’s Perry Cox.

29. Safe:

He knows that J.D. abhors speaking about him to his friends, he’s a failure to his brother, but he feels safe living in his parents' attic and working as a bartender – safe, protected, secure – and he isn’t ready to give all of that up just so he’ll shine brighter in the young doctor’s eyes.

30. Ghost:

He wakes up to someone crawling over him to reach the other side of the bed and a shaky voice saying, “My room is haunted, and mom won’t let me sleep with her so I’m sleeping here,” and he’s too tired to argue.

31. Book:

Sometimes Dan snaps himself shut, a defense mechanism, and it’s almost impossible for anyone to break through, and now that J.D. is gone there is no one to even try to open him back up and he’s beginning to think he might be permanently stuck this way.

32. Eye:

The first time he had gone to see Johnny at the hospital he had met a man named Perry Cox and all he had to see was the look on his brother’s face when the man walked in the room to know that he was already more than just a mentor.

33. Never:

Their relationship is rocky, to say the least, but Dan never thought he’d see the day where J.D. wanted to cut him out completely and he still doesn’t fully believe it.

34. Sing:

Dan remembers a time when all he had to do was sing his brother a silly little song and all of the problems in the world would be fixed, but now when he tries to fix things J.D. just rolls his eyes and steps around him with a sigh.

35. Sudden:

“Hey, little brother,” Dan loudly says as he jumps out from behind a potted plant grinning and snapping his gum as the younger Dorian drops his folders in surprise from the sudden outburst.

36. Stop:

When Perry crushes his littler brother’s heart he doesn’t know what to do to make things better because he’s never been very good at comforting, so instead he stops by the hospital to make sure that Perry Cox knows exactly how he feels about the situation.

37. Time:

Dan wishes he could turn back the clock to a time when he and his family had been happy together.

38. Wash:

Washing the car quickly becomes a water fight and J.D. grins to himself as he creeps around the passenger’s side for a sneak attack.

39. Torn:

His favorite shirt is ratty and torn to shreds (Johnny had given it to him as a birthday present years ago) but he refuses to get rid of it.

40. History:

He’s surprised that, even after all these years, J.D.’s rejection hurts just as much now as it did the first time.

41. Power:

He wants Dan to be successful, and having to watch him throw his life away is extremely frustrating since he knows that his older brother has the power, the capabilities, to be so much more.

42. Bother:

J.D. had every opportunity to laugh and say I told you so when Elliot finally did dump Dan, but each time his older brother called him (voice broken and solemn) he found it harder and harder.

43. God:

Dan was never quite sure of his thoughts on God or of high powers, but he prays to every deity he can think of as he races to the hospital.

44. Wall:

There is a wall between them that seems almost impenetrable, but he hopes that every time he visits he creates a crack.

45. Naked:

As he stands on the front steps of the hospital in front of his brother he feels naked – stripped bare – and he’s scared to look up from his shoes for fear of the judgment he will find in J.D.’s eyes.

46. Drive:

The night their dad died Dan got in the car and took a long drive with no particular destination in mind, but he wasn’t surprised when he saw the lights of the hospital up ahead because there was only one person that he needed around when things were bad.

47. Harm:

“If you hurt him, break his heart, cause him pain in any way…I will track you down and you will answer to me,” Dan narrows his eyes at the older doctor, “because even though he’s embarrassed by me, and however loathed he is to admit it… he is my little brother and that makes it my job to look out for him, you got that?”

48. Precious:

J.D. always seemed so delicate when they were growing up, and Dan had an overwhelming urge to protect him, but somewhere down the line the tables had shifted and now Johnny doesn’t need him much anymore, and even when he does Dan has forgotten how to help.

49. Hunger:

J.D. remembers how he once yearned to be able to move out and away from his hometown as a child, and how Dan had always seemed perfectly content to stay right where he was and the younger Dorian was never able to understand that.

50. Believe:

They’re sitting in silence on a bench in the park and Dan is considering just how much worse his life could be until he turns and says, “You know, I’m glad you’re my brother even if you are embarrassed of me,” and he slings an arm around his brother’s neck.


FIN.